Let the games begin!
by luvin-the-coffee
Summary: A prank war carried out between Ziva and Tony leads to unexpected consequences and revealations! Now a full length story! TIVA! Please review! Rated M for sexual subject matter! Chapter 4 up!
1. Sleep talk

AN: I'm bored with my other story, so I took a temporary break from it to write something more light- hearted. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

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It was a typical Tuesday night at the office. Or, Wednesday morning actually. Gibbs had ordered the team to stay behind to try and locate some of the suspects for a case.

Tony glanced over at Ziva. She was slumped over on her desk, clearly her fatigue from many similar nights of investigation had finally gotten to her. She was usually the one to battle on through her tiredness, while Tony and McGee napped. But tonight, she obviously couldn't resist the temptation of sleep any longer. Tony chuckled to himself, _Who's the bad employee now Miss David?_

Meanwhile, Tony, who was on a caffeine buzz, had gotten distracted from the task assigned to him and was busy playing "Rate my boobs"- an internet game partner to his all time favourite- "Rate my butt". McGee was standing behind him, aiding him in his quest of male immaturity. Gibbs was nowhere to be seen. Both agents assumed, with a shudder, that he was taking a nap on one of Ducky's cadaver tables.

"What about this one? Now those are precious. We're talking Pam Anderson and Angelia combined my friend. I give her a five. Hands down."

"Too big," McGee replied casually.

Tony flipped around to face him, a look of shock on his face, "Too big? Is there really any such thing? Are you _sure _that you're not of the homosexual persuasion McGee? Because, you know, Mc_Gay_ isn't a far stretch from McGee."

"I'm not gay Tony… just because I don't like big breasts it doesn't mean tha-"

He was cut off by Tony raising a hand to silence him.

"Did you hear that?" he asked tensely.

"You being a chauvinistic pig? Yup, I think that I caught wind of it," McGee replied, smirking.

"Haha. Very funny. No, I'm talking about Ziva. She made a _noise_." he whispered, staring hard at her sleeping form. McGee walked back to his own desk, rolling his eyes as he did so.

"Well, Tony… I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not uncommon for people to make noises while they sleep. In fact, it's scientifically proven tha-"

"It wasn't just a noise noise McSmartass, it was _a sex noise,_" Tony said the last words with incredible intensity, causing McGee to turn around and return to where he had previously stood.

"Tony, are you sure that you're not just incredibly sleep depriv…?"

This time they both heard it. An audible moan originating straight from their partner's lips.

McGee laughed, "You're never going to let her live this one down, are you Tony?"

"Shhhhh," Tony replied. He was gazing at Ziva intently, waiting for the next sound to escape her lips, "This is our new form of entertainment. Goodbye "Rate my boobs", hello "Ziva sleep talk.""

McGee resisted the urge to give Tony a head slap, "You pervert! I don't think that Ziva would appreciate being spied on like this."

Tony turned around and replied in a gleeful voice, "That's the beauty of it McPrude, she's asleep, so she's never gonna know. Do you still have that video camera with you from a few weeks ago. We should really get this on tape as blackmail mater-"

"Oh yesss Tony. Don't stop."

Tony almost fell off his chair, and had a heart attack, all at once.

"Did you hear that?? Did you hear that McGee?! She said my name. _My _name. _I'm _her sleeping sexual fantasy!!"

He resisted the urge to get up and start dancing on the table, vying for the floor instead. His victory dance was short lived however, as Ziva continued to vocalize the pleasures of her dream.

"Tony… yes, right there."

_Oh man David, why are you doing this to me?_

He felt a stir in his pants. No. Bad news. None of that.

"Just like so many others have, Ziva over there is clearly fully enjoying the Dynamic Dinozzo experience. You know what this means, right Probie? That on an underlying level, she wants me. Ziva wants me. That's right, I speak the truth. Dreams are a reflection of the greatest desires of the subconscious."

McGee snorted, "Either that, or she's in love with you."

Tony flipped around to face him, his pulse speeding up unintentionally. He tried to keep his voice casual, "What's with that theory of yours McGee? You wrote about that in Deep Six too. Got any proof for that, or are you just pulling it out of your ass?"

"Well, it's fairly obvious isn't it Tony?"

Tony blushed slightly and considered the prospect for a moment.

_Ziva… in love with me? _

He couldn't say that he didn't like the idea.

"Ohh Tony, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Tony, ohhhhhhhh."

Tony blinked once. Twice.

_Holy shit._

"Di-did we just hear Ziva dreamgasm McGee?" he asked his partner hoarsely.

"That's what it sounded like Tony," McGee responded quietly, slightly aroused, but not nearly as much so as Tony.

Tony grinned triumphantly, "HaHA! I made Ziva dreamgasm!! I made Ziva dreamgasm! Dinozzo strikes again!" He looked down, little Tony was acting up.

"I have to go to the bathroom…"

As he stood up, he heard a voice murmur coyly beside him, "A little bit uncomfortable there Tony?"

He turned around to see Ziva sitting upright in her seat with an irreplaceable smirk on her face.

Tony blushed furiously, "Bu- but you were asleep! You were slumped down on your desk."

"Well, yes, but now I am _up_, as are you, it would appear" she replied demurely, her eyes flicking down towards Tony's arousal for a moment before returning to his face.

Tony's blush deepened. It wasn't helping that McGee was laughing like a hyena in the background.

_Fooled again Dinozzo!_

"Ziva, that was brilliant!" McGee informed her, still laughing up a storm.

"Well, of course it was," Ziva replied. She got up from her seat and sauntered over to Tony. Her face barely an inch away from his, she looked up into his eyes and said, "I was enjoying the _Dynamic Dinozzo experience_."

McGee howled with laughter. After maintaining eye contact with Ziva for a moment, Tony turned around to him, "Shut up McGee!" he snapped.

Turning back to Ziva, he tried to retain some of his integrity. He murmured, "Well, if you want to enjoy it in real life.. My door's always open Zee-vah."

Grinning, he turned on his heel and stalked off towards the men's room. Halfway there, he turned back around to face her, "Oh, and by the way. I forfeit the Dinozzo cup to you."

Ziva frowned, "I do not want your cup Tony!"

"The cup honouring excellent skills in the vast world of prank- manship Zee-vah. But now we know where your mind is."

With a quick wink, he turned the corner.

"Yes! I get the cup!" Ziva announced triumphantly to McGee.

"You know he's going to get you back, right?" McGee asked her, smiling.

Ziva grinned. As long as no more discussion of her being in love with him was involved, she was fine with the idea. She hated hearing mention of that, it hit way too close to home.

"Let the games begin," she replied with a small smile.

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AN: I don't know if I wan this to be kept as a one shot or made into a full out prank war! Tell me what you think!!


	2. Never have I ever

AN: Because so many people liked the first chapter and wanted more, I had to make this into a full length story!! Unfortunately, it will have to be a bit of a rush job because I leave to go work at an overnight summer camp next Wednesday. But don't worry, I'll finish this in time! Hopefully this chapter doesn't disappoint in comparison to the last.. It has a lot more TIVA tension, which I think is good thing! Please read and REVIEW J

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After a long hard day at work, the whole team was going out for drinks. Tony knew that this evening would no doubt provide a shining opportunity to get Ziva back for her magnificent prank that morning. When Ziva went to the bathroom right before they left, Tony confided in McGee.

"We're in the big leagues now Probie. This is no longer fun and games. No more chair mishaps or inked binoculars… we're talking _serious _mischief. Ziva's dreamgasm calls for some huge payback."

"Can't you just let her win? You know, keep the Dinozzo cup for awhile?" McGee asked innocently.

"No way! Don't try and ruin this for me McBoring. I already have a plan," Tony smiled sadistically at McGee, as the two began to make their way towards the elevator.

"Never tell a trained assassin that you are going to wait for her, and then leave anyways," Ziva called, as she caught up with them.

"Damn it McGee, why didn't we walk faster?" Tony asked jokingly. This earned him a punch on the shoulder from Ziva.

"I would have caught up Tony. I can't miss tonight, who knows, maybe when I am so drunk I can't even think properly, I will be ready to try _The Dynamic Dinozzo Experience_," she said it in a dramatic voice, her eyes widening as she spoke.

McGee chuckled, Ziva smirked.

"What are you laughing at McGeek? I bet that you've never had your sexual prowess given a title by a female friend," he stated smugly.

Ziva laughed, "Wait, that title was not your creation?"

Tony grinned, "Nope."

Ziva smiled and whispered to McGee, so that Tony could hear, "The girl must have been foreign and mixed up the word dynamic with terrifying."

McGee laughed, and Tony smiled secretly to himself. She made him so angry… and he loved every second of it.

_You just wait Miss David, soon you're going to be regretting every last mocking statement you ever directed towards me._

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Tony watched Ziva from the corner of his eye as she took another shot.

_A few more, and she's all yours Dinozzo._

Abby nudged him, snapping him out of his reverie, "Tony, I want to play a drinking game. You'll play right?"

Tony grinned, "Are you sure you want to go there Abs? I was the master of flip cup in my college years… they called me the "Flippin' Machine". I was practically a legend."

"Well Tony, that is certainly something to brag about," Ziva stated wryly.

_Dammit! She's still being a sarcastic bitch! Not close to drunk enough!_

"Noooo.. Tony, I was talking more along the lines of "Never have I ever"," Abby replied excitedly.

"Sounds dangerous," Ziva said, a twinkle in her eye.

Abby quickly explained the game, and everyone at the bar; McGee, Tony, Ziva and Palmer, all put their names down as contenders.

"Ok. I'll say one first. Hmmm. Never have I ever had sex on a beach.. Though I've always wanted to. Boys, don't get any ideas," Abby smiled mischievously, and looked around suspiciously at all of the others.

Ziva laughed and pounded back a shot. Tony did too.

"I can understand Ziva… but Tony, you've had sex on a beach?" Abby asked curiously.

"My parents used to take me on a lot of Caribbean trips. I needed to find some way to occupy myself. Teenage Dinozzo was even more of a hit with the ladies then the Dinozzo you're staring in the face right now."

Ziva snickered. "It is remarkable how easy to believe that is," she commented dryly, causing Tony to kick her in the shins underneath the table. She grinned, and kicked him back.

"Your turn Palmer!" Abby announced.

"Never have I ever taken a poop out of a car window."

Four pairs of eyes turned to stare at him in unison.

"McGee, give him a head slap for me, would ya?" Tony requested. McGee quickly obliged.

"Palmer! What kind of "never have I ever" is that??" Abby demanded.

"Well.. You said anything. And I know a few people who have done that when nature called while they were on a road trip and couldn't stop-"

"Next!" Abby said, looking expectantly at McGee.

"Never have I ever…had a threesome… had sex with two people at once."

"Don't you mean "never have I ever had sex _period_" McGeek?" Tony asked teasingly, "Why is everyone picking on me today anyways??" He took a quick shot. As did Ziva.

"Ziva?" McGee asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It was a situation back in Israel that got out of control very quickly. It involved two very handsome men, a gun, vodka, and a blindfold. If you ask me to elaborate, I might have to kill you."

Tony smiled, he liked the idea of Ziva getting down and dirty with more then one guy at a time.

_I wonder how many more secrets like that Ziva has up her sleeve…_

Ziva smiled sadistically. It was her turn now. She loved opportunities like this. They were chances to pick on Tony, handed over to her on a silver platter.

"Never have I ever gotten my butt waxed," she said with a smirk, staring at Tony as she said it. Tony turned tomatoe red.

Abby squealed, "Tony, you've gotten your butt waxed??"

"Ziva! That was supposed to stay between you and me… and the waxing woman," Tony said hoarsely.

Ziva grinned, "I know, but when opportunity visits…"

"Knocks! When opportunity knocks!" Tony corrected bitterly, "And stop staring at me you guys. Ziva dared me to do it. I never back down from dares!" He took a shot forlornly. But smiled afterwards. It was his turn. The combination of his alcohol- induced buzz and his desire for payback against Ziva made his "never have I ever" seem like a very appealing choice in the moment.

"Never have I ever hidden feelings that I had for a co-worker from them," he said light-heartedly, looking Ziva directly in the eye as he said it. Ziva blushed slightly and looked down.

_Tony… you bastard. _

McGee and Abby, not seeing the exchange between Tony and Ziva, looked at each other, laughed, and took a shot. As did Palmer, reminiscing about his wonderful fling with Agent Lee as he did so.

Ziva tried to maintain her composure. How could she look him in the eyes after that?? "I- I have to go to the washroom. Excuse me," Ziva said, teetering slightly as she got up to move.

_I can't believe that he… the asshole! _

It only took a second for the anger to flood over her. She turned around then, breathed in deeply and stated in a tone of controlled fury, "Actually, I do not have to go. I have another one. Never have I ever used a woman for information and then broken her heart," she glared at Tony, hoping that he would flinch. He did, slightly.

_How dare she bring Jeanne into this…that's low David, very low._

Abby, sensing the tension between them said quietly, "So, how about a different drinking game guys? I'm not sure if I like this one anymore…"

Tony glared at Ziva from across the table. He watched as she sat back down on her stool, and wobbled slightly as she did so.

_She's totally hammered. I wasn't sure about my prank before. But now I am._

Tony got up and crossed over to where the bartender stood. He leaned over on the counter.

"Hey man. Can I get another Budweiser? And also… I was wondering if you could do me a favour?"

He explained his prank to the bartender, who promptly shook his head.

"Sorry man, could get me into trouble."

Tony sighed, and, reaching into his pocket, pulled out a twenty dollar bill. He slipped it across the table, "How about you and my friend Andrew Jackson have a little chat about that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

The bartender smiled and nodded, "Which guy again? The one on the left in the blue coat?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded.

"I'm pretty sure he's gay. He's come in here a couple of time with a whole series of different dudes."

Tony grinned wickedly, "Even better. Thanks buddy," he said, as he turned around and walked back to the table, Budweiser in hand.

_Let the games begin…_

Several minutes later the bartender that Tony had talked to stopped at their table.

"Excuse me miss," he addressed Ziva, "See that guy in the blue jacket over there?" Ziva nodded, "He bought this drink for you." Ziva smiled and said thank you, turning around to check out her pursuer. Abby turned too.

"Oooooh, Ziva! He's cute! Go talk to him!!" she encouraged.

Ziva began to shake her head.

_But wouldn't it be fun to make Tony jealous?_

She stood up as carefully as possible, and, with a smirk in Tony's direction, sauntered over to the table where the guy in the blue jacket sat.

Tony watched on, barely able to contain his laughter. He leaned over to McGee, "You know how I said I'd get her back? Observe the work of a prank mastermind, Probie."

McGee chuckled, "Tony, you ass."

Both watched as Ziva smiled flirtatiously at the guy in the blue coat. Tony leaned closer, straining to hear their conversation.

"Hi," Ziva greeted.

"Hi…" the man replied.

"How's it going?"

"Good. Uh… do I know you?" the man asked, staring at her.

"Well no. But usually when a man buys a woman a drink, it indicates that he _wants _to get to know her," Ziva answered, grinning.

"I think there must be some kind of mistake here honey. I didn't buy you a drink. I kind of bat for the other team..."

Ziva stared at him incredulously, "What? What does baseball have to do with this?"

Tony couldn't help it, he burst out laughing.

"I'm _gay,_" the man replied, looking at his friends for support.

"Oh…" realization struck her and she turned bright red, "Oh my god…" She turned quickly to the man, "I am-uh- sorry to have bothered you."

_Tony, I am going to kill you!!_

She stormed back over to the table, meeting Tony's triumphant gloating upon arrival.

"Wow, Ziva. I knew that you were desperate… but asking out gay guys? Don't you think that that's just a step too far? I'll be having my cup back now!"

Ziva's glare was icy. _Piercing._

"Oh no, Tony. There is no point in me giving it back to you, because this battle is just getting started… and I do not intend to be the loser."

_I will not be the loser with what I have planned…_

She'd been brainstorming all day, in preparation, just in case Tony's payback came quickly. Now she knew which prank she was going to pick. The most humiliating by far out of any that she'd considered. She wasn't going to go for it at first, she figured that it might toy with her own personal feelings for him a little too much. But right now, she felt absolutely no affection for this man that she had been in love with for so long. All that she felt was a deep rooted desire for revenge.

_You just wait Tony. After a couple more drinks, you will be back at my place, and, a couple more drinks after that, well, you'll see…_

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AN: Ohhh!! What will Ziva's prank be?? Please, please, please review!


	3. Only wearing socks

AN: Sorry it took awhile for me to put this up, busy weekend! This one isn't as funny as the first two... but it has its perks, you'll see what they are soon. Enjoy!!

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It was only McGee, Tony and Ziva left at the bar now… Palmer had left claiming that it was past his "designated bed time" and Abby had abandoned them to attend another party. Ziva watched Tony, trying to stifle a mocking laugh. He was busy recounting stories from his college years, complete with wild gesticulations and what- in his inebriated state- he assumed to be humorous impressions.

_He has had a little bit too much._

"Then- there was this one time that- well… there was this giant blow- up Madonna and-"

"Sorry Tony, hate to interrupt.. but I think I really should be going- uh… early day tomorrow," McGee stood up, grabbing his jacket as he did so. Tony waved his hand dismissively.

"Early day for all of us Probie. Buuut, if you want to miss the story that I had lined up next about how I watched two hot drunk lesbians hook up on my bed in Freshman year, then, by all means- leave now."

This got McGee's attention and he snapped back around.

"Ha! No such thing ever happened! But you shoulda seen how quickly I got you to turn around McPerv!"

His words were slightly slurred. His face was red.

_Yes, he has definitely had a little too much._

McGee frowned and leaned over to Ziva, "Make sure he doesn't end up in a gutter tonight?"

Ziva chuckled and looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye, "Oh trust me, he won't."

McGee nodded and left, abandoning Ziva with Tony. After his little prank on her, she had decided that it was time to begin limiting her alcohol consumption, and had ordered water in an attempt to sober herself up. After all, she was about to set her revenge in motion, and she had to be somewhat sober to do that. Tony, on the other hand, basking in the glory of his momentary victory, had decided that it was time to treat himself to even more alcohol.

"So, it's just you and me, is it Zee-vah?" he said, turning around to her and smiling devilishly.

Ziva tried not to look enthused, "It would appear so," she said, finishing up her last sip of water.

Tony nodded and spoke without thinking, "I think I always knew that it would end up that way."

_What??_

Ziva raised an eyebrow at Tony, trying desperately to remain composed. He always took her by surprise like this.

Tony's face reddened and he hurried to change the topic, "So, maybe I should take off too…"

He went to stand up, and stumbled slightly in his attempt. Ziva caught him by the arm. He flexed his bicep, knowing only that if she was going to be holding his arm, it had to be in top condition. He found himself suddenly conscious of how close they were as she stood, holding him in place. They were so close that he could smell her perfume.

_Spicy….. Sensual._

"Oh no you don't," she cautioned, "You are not driving like this Tony." He remained silent for a moment. Why did he have to speak? Why couldn't he just concentrate right now on the way that her fingers felt around his arm, on how cute her voice sounded when she was being bossy, on the way that her face looked in the mood lightin-

_Snap out of it Dinozzo! Don't be like that. Stay cool._

"Ha. So, what? You want me to pay for some cab to take me home? I'm fine Ziva, though… your concern is touching, really."

"I do not want you to get a cab," Ziva stated calmly.

"Ok Miss David, well… if you're suggesting that you're going to drive me home, and that that's a superior option to me driving myself home.. I just need to do a little something- oh- oh, here it comes-"

He began laughing uproariously and slapping his knee as he did so.

_Oh no Tony, you don't get out of this that easily…_

"Tony, it is clear that you are making light of the idea in an attempt to mask some insecurity. It couldn't be that you, a grown man, a federal agent, are_ scared _of my driving, could it?"

Tony turned to her and stared at her incredulously. He replied, "Well, no! Wherever did you get that idea from Zee-vah? Someone scared of your suicidal kamikaze cabbie driving? An absurd concept!"

Ignoring his sarcasm, Ziva slapped him lightly on the cheek, "Well, then it is agreed. Follow me to my car."

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"Ziva, I think that you took a wrong turn," Tony informed her, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Oh no I did not Tony, you are coming home with me… did I forget to mention that?"

Tony turned around to stare at her. She felt his eyes probing her in the darkness.

_Oh no, here comes the third degree._

But, to her immense satisfaction, Tony just chuckled.

"Never mess with a Mossad ninja when she has her mind set on something," he stated matter- of- factly. _Though what? _He grinned at the prospect of such a mystery.

Several minutes later, they arrived at Ziva's apartment building. She took the time while she was getting out her keys and leading Tony up to her condo, to re-evaluate the situation. She was still mad at him because of his prank- but even more so because of his insensitive "never- have- I ever" comment. She knew, on a more subconscious level, that she wanted to do this prank specifically to prove to him that what he had said to her hadn't affected her. That she wasn't some weak, vulnerable girl bathing in the sorrow of unrequited love. That she was the same bold, shocking, spontaneous woman who intimidated and awed him all in one. This prank would prove that… undoubtedly. _And _it would win her the Dinozzo cup back.

_Permanently, I think. _

She smiled when she got upstairs and noted that her neighbours were throwing yet another party… and that a significant amount of people were lounging out in the hallway. Usually she would hate this, but today, it was perfect.

She unlocked the door to her condo, and Tony followed her in like a lost puppy dog. Once he was inside, she shut the door behind them, and turned around, catching his gaze almost immediately. She sized him up and down quickly. He had taken off his tie and jacket at the bar, and was now only wearing his shirt, which was unbuttoned at the top.

_God, he looks good. _

"So, Tony… you might be wondering what the reason is that I brought you here," she said with a sly smile.

He turned to her with a grin, "I take it it's not to tune your piano."

"No, though it is very _hands on_," Ziva replied, walking slowly towards him.

_Thank god that you are still slightly drunk, otherwise, you would never do this..._

Standing a foot away from him now, she realized how difficult this would be to pull off, how difficult it would even be for her to get the ball rolling. She looked up at Tony from a foot away, eyes shining. He stared back.

_Fuck, she looks gorgeous. _

Her sleek black hair was curly and and wild around her face, her eyes were wide, and her cheeks were flushed. His eyes flickered down to her lips. _So red and full._

Suddenely, the hardest part... actually initiating contact, was done for her, as Tony pressed his lips against hers, first softly, then harder... more passionately. He pushed her against the wall, and, when she felt his tongue touch hers, she moaned against his lips, realizing in that moment just how badly she had wanted this for so long. All of a sudden she felt him throb against her stomach.

_If only..._

_No, Ziva, no. Do not get lost here. Remember why you brought him back here. Remember how angry he made you. You can not let this get out of control, or you will hate yourself tomorrow when you remember the circumstances that it occured under._

But still, his tongue intertwined with hers and his hands in her hair and his breath on her face were doing crazy things to her. And when she felt his hands reach up and begin groping her breasts, she had to stop herself from pushing him onto the couch and having her way with him, right there, right now. All of a sudden he was tugging at her shirt, trying to pull it up and over her head.

_Oh no you don't Tony. _

She allowed him to do it anyways, because the prospect of feeling his tongue on her burning skin was too tempting to resist. However, she too began unbuttoning his shirt, and discarded it quickly.

_Halfway there... am I ready to do this? _

It only took him one attempt to unhook her bra, and then, his hands were all over her, exploring and teasing in all the right places. Overcome by desire, she reached down and squeezed him, causing him to shudder slightly against her. She began undoing his belt as he kissed her neck and then sucked on it, causing her to shudder in return. He kicked his pants off, and then, breathed into her ear, his voice husky, "Should we take this into the bedroom?"

She shook her head, and suddenely realization struck her. He was fully prepared to do this. To sleep with her on a random drunken night like she was any other one of his one night stands. To use her body for his own satisfaction, despite his knowledge of her feelings for him. Suddenely, all of her tears and subtle hints that went ignored by him seemed like burdens that he had selfishly forced her to carry. Anger coursed through her. _Now I'm ready to do this._

Glancing down at his boxers, she ordered, "Take those off."

He grinned... and did as he was told.

_What is she upto? _

There he stood, wearing nothing but socks, and fully aroused. Right now, to her, he wasn't the man that she loved, he was the crude and insensitive object of a glorious prank.

She placed her lips on his, and, kissing him as passionately as possible began pusing him backwards. Once they were at the door, she continued to kiss him, while reaching out with one hand and grabbing the handle.

"You have always been a bit of a showoff Tony... so show off," she whispered into his ear, and with that.. she opened the door and pushed him outside. She pulled the door to, and yanked the chain across, leaving only an inch of space for her to peer through, and no way for him to get back inside.

Tony turned around and blinked. He was in the hallway of Ziva's apartment. Naked, except for socks. Aroused as hell. And three hot girls from the party next door were staring at him, wide- eyed. He turned bright red. _Bright _red.

_That bitch! Think of a cover... fast. _

"Hi ladies. I was-uh- on my way to the Georgetown nudist resort and I got lost. Can anyone help me out?"

All three looked at him in disgust. One muttered, "Freak," before they turned around and went back into the party. Once they were inside, Tony turned around to Ziva.

"Ziva, let me back in now. This is so not funny!!"

Ziva laughed, "Maybe not for you..."

"Ziva!!"

Ziva grinned, "Fine, fine, fine. I will be nice and help you out." She shut the door and locked it, returning a moment later.

"Here is your cell phone, a 20 bill and your keys. Call a cab and take it home."

"Like _this??" _Tony demanded, gesturing towards his erection.

"I guess so," Ziva replied with a smirk.

"You're going to regret this big time David," Tony muttered. Then, adding something harsh sounding in Italian, he turned and stalked down the hallway, looking forward only to the fact that the darkness outside would somewhat mask him.

Ziva watched him go, smiling to herself.

"David- two, Dinozzo- one," she murmered to herself as she shut the door behind her.

She knew that she should be happy right now, fully basking in her triumph. So, she couldn't figure out why, when she shut the door behind her and looked to where his pants lay crumpled on the ground, all she wanted to do was cry.

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AN: Two chapters left :)! Get excited!! And please review!!


	4. Two winners

AN: Sorry dudes, last chapter! I would have done two more, but I just don't have the time, and I always need to finish something once I've started it! I would have liked to have made this fic really long, but I'm not going to have computer access for two months starting tomorrow, so that would have been a bit of a challenge. Enjoy this!! Please, please review J

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Tony sat in the back of the cab, mulling over the events of the past hour. His thoughts were interrupted by the cab driver's voice.

"So.. Uh, if you don't mind me asking, were you just at a "naked" themed party, or taking part in an orgy…. maybe a porno?"

Tony stared at him incredulously.

_Wow, cabbies just keep getting politer and politer._

"Yeahhhh, I was in a porno. It's called "The adventures of the big D in the land of crazy Israeli chicks and rude cabbies." It's a stunner, really."

The cab driver nodded, "Noted. I'll be sure to rent it when it comes out."

_What a freak! Thanks for this Ziva._

He was only too relieved when the cab driver dropped him off at home. Fortunately, his neighbour's cat was the only living thing that witnessed the entry of Anthony Dinozzo clad only in his birthday suit into his nice apartment building.

_I guess that the security cameras can see me too… isn't the guy that's monitoring them going to have a field day!_

Once inside his condo, he walked over to the couch and sat down. He needed to think… really think. He was still having trouble believing that what had just happened, had in fact just happened. Was it true that his partner had just seduced him into nudity and then shoved him out her front door like he was a cheap stripper?

_Yep, that's true._

The part that he was having trouble digesting was the fact that she had felt this to be just retribution for his prank at the bar that night.

_Trust an Israeli Mossad agent to inflict torture where it isn't due.._

And then he remembered it. The game of never- have-I- ever, and the look that had crossed her face when he said, "Never have I ever hidden my feelings from a co-worker." He frowned. That must have really hit her hard. _Really _hit her hard.

_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._

He played the night back in his head. Like any good criminal investigator, he wasn't about to go to sleep before he'd solved his case. Plus, he was sober enough now to reflect on things in a reasonable manner. She'd driven him to her place, and then they'd gone inside, and she'd kissed him…

_No, rewind Tony, rewind!_

He'd kissed her.

_Shit!_

He'd kissed her because she'd been standing there in the moonlit room with her eyes sparkling and her lips waiting and her hair wild. And, it had felt like the right thing to do. God, had it felt like the right thing to do. And then they'd kissed more and it had been mind blowing, the type of kissing that sets your whole body on fire. Then, he'd taken off her shirt, and she'd taken off his and his pants, and then he'd whispered, "Do you want to move this into the bedroom?"

_Shit! Dinozzo! Can't you ever keep it in your pants??_

He couldn't have been willing to do that. He couldn't have been willing to sleep with Ziva, right then and there, with drunken desire as his only motivation. But he had been willing. And if it was all true (though he still wasn't sure if he believed it) and she was in love with him… then, no wonder. No friggin wonder.

_You had that one coming Dinozzo._

He was embarrassed, so unbelievably embarrassed. How could he have done that? How could he have been so incredibly insensitive? He wouldn't be able to look her in the eye tomorrow morning, he would have been able to if it was anyone else, but not Ziva. He respected her too much, loved her too much.

_What? Love?? No, no, no. Not the crazy Israeli chick, it can't be true._

But when he closed his eyes, she was there. She, with her boldness and her passion and her biting sarcasm.

_Shit, Dinozzo. That took long enough._

He sighed and laid back on his couch. He would fix this tomorrow, if it could be fixed.

He fell asleep then, naked except for socks, on his couch, with the image of Ziva's sad expression as she watched him walk away from her branded in his mind.

8888

When Tony entered NCIS the next day, he was surprised to see McGee and Ziva both working calmly at their prospective desks.

_What? Where's the teasing and mockery??_

Tony walked over to McGee's desk.

"Ok Probie.. What's it going to be, some crack about being surprised that I could find my clothes this morning? Some comment about how those three hot chicks that saw me last night must be blinded for life?"

McGee looked up at him, confused, "What?"

"Maybe some remark about how I should spend my time super gluing my clothes to my body, instead of your face to your keyboard? What? Come on now, hit me with your best shot!"

McGee stared at him blankly, "Speaking of glue.. Have you been sniffing it again?"

Tony frowned.

_No mockery? Huh?_

He turned around to Ziva. She was sitting quietly at her desk. She hadn't looked up since he entered.

_No gloating? No "victory is mine"?_

He walked over to his partner, and gazed at her until she looked up.

"What do you want Tony?" she asked tiredly. She looked exhausted. Like she hadn't slept.

"I-uh…"

He squatted down so that he was at eye level with her.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry…" he murmured.

Her head snapped up and her eyes pierced his, "Sorry for what?" she asked, her heart speeding up as she said it.

"My- er… behaviour last night. It wasn't very gentlemanly of me. Mind you, yours wasn't very ladylike either," he answered with a grin.

Ziva smiled, "I accept your apology. Call it equal?"

Tony grinned, "Call it _even_, Zee-vah. And, to make up for how rude I was last night…."

_Come on Tony, spit it out._

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight?" he blurted the words out rather ungracefully.

_Jesus Tony, it's like your in middle school again, asking out the hot girl in the grade above you._

Ziva stared at him. She hadn't been over to his place for dinner in a really long time.. And he'd never actually formally invited her before…

_Tony! It must be another prank!_

"Ha!" she replied, with a snigger, "Did you really think that I would fall for the nice- act? You want me to come over tonight, so you can get me back! I knew deep down that you would never let me win…it is not in your nature to be satisfied with being inferior."

Tony frowned, "No, honestly Ziva… I swear to you, I'm not planning a prank."

"What are you planning then?" Ziva asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A date?" Tony replied, in as casual a tone as possible, given the circumstances.

Ziva felt her face turn bright red. Could this be real?

"A- a date?" she stuttered, in an attempt to insure that she had heard him properly.

Tony grinned, "Yeah, why? Do you have a problem with that Zee-vah?"

_Do I have a problem with that??_

Ziva shook her head dumbly. Then, reassuming composure, she said with a wink, "But, if this does turn out to be a prank, remember that I am a trained assassin."

Tony chuckled, "How could I forget?"

8888

That night, after dinner, and movies… and some incredible, highly cathartic sex, Tony held Ziva close to him. He'd never pegged her as the type that would like to be held, but she wasn't resisting in the slightest.

Ziva sighed peacefully. So, this was what it felt like to experience a great, painful burden being lifted. For the first time after sex in her life, she had wanted to be held, wanted it fervently. Turning around and resting her head on Tony's chest, she murmured drowsily, "I honestly can't believe that you let me win."

Tony chuckled and replied, his voice laden with meaning, "I wouldn't say that Ziva. I'd say that we've both won." He reached down and squeezed her hand. She, understanding, leaned over and kissed him passionately on the lips.

"I have to use the washroom, I'll be back in a minute," Ziva whispered. He grinned, watching her gorgeous naked form retreat into the bathroom.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight._

He heard a shriek, abruptly followed by a, "Tony, I am going to kill you!!"

_Ha! David- 2, Dinozzo- 2._

He couldn't resist. He'd put saran wrap on the toilet seat.

_Fini_


End file.
